Friday, December 18, 2009

Livin' in the Bulb ep 4 - Season Finale

The season finale of the post-apocalyptic mini-series is here! This episode was predominately shot in LA. In this chapter, after our heroes are split up during the terrors of the night, we see what happens to James.

Haven't seen "Livin' in the Bulb" yet? Watch the entire four-part series in sequence, with the added bonus of the pilot episode at the end.

Wednesday, December 9, 2009

New Roy Gover Tape from Spike Priggen

Reader Spike Priggen sent us an MP3 of his Roy Gover tape that features Roy singing over an opera. Roy Henry Alexander Gover is a Bay Area cult figure that Jesse Elias wrote an article about for Official Incorporated in October, which included rips of our Roy tapes. Spike has also written about Roy, and has a collection of Roy tapes. Enjoy this brand-new Roy goodness thanks to Spike!

Download  (right-click save as)

Do you have any Roy tapes you'd like to share? We'll host your tapes on our blog! Send us your mp3s to or even mail us your tapes (email us for the mailing address) and we can digitize them for you and send them back.

Thursday, December 3, 2009

Livin' in the Bulb ep 3

Part three of a four part post-apocalyptic mini-series, shot and set in the Bay Area. In this episode, after losing their modest shelter, our hero's have to face the horrors of the night, and the subsequent aftermath the morning after. Stay tuned for the season finale, coming soon!

Saturday, November 21, 2009

Cardboard Transmissions ep 7

Episode 7  features four acts from around the San Francisco Bay Area. It starts off with some slightly surf, slightly Fugsish rock and roll, continues with an electronic/IDM song, then a beautiful noise epic, and ends with a meditative and zoned-out noise-scape.  Produced by Adam Harms, and updated sporadically.

Total Running Time - 19.5 mins

Download Here (Right Click Save As)

Play Order:
Click the artist's names for more music/info

1. Hobocop - I was a Beautiful Hippy

2. Summer Final - Summer Final

3. J0N G - Protractor Races

4. protoghost - Circuit Boards and Mountain Ranges [excerpt]

Click Here for more episodes.

Copy the feed link and paste it into your aggregator:
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Subscribe to this podcast with iTunes
Subscribe to this podcast with iTunes

If you have any music you'd like to contribute to Cardboard Transmissions email us at

Brought to you by Official Incorporated Radio

Tuesday, November 10, 2009

Swanifant Music Video - Steps

Directed and Edited by
Easton Grainer

Music by

Also- See the music video for the first four tracks of Swanifant's  EP 1

Wednesday, October 28, 2009

Livin' in the Bulb ep 2

Part two of a four part post-apocalyptic mini-series, shot and set in the Bay Area. This episode our hero's find themselves in a harrowing situation, held captive in their meager shelter by an invader, and facing ejection into the wild.

Monday, October 19, 2009

Cardboard Transmissions ep 6

Episode 6  features three artists from the San Francisco Bay Area and one from Philadelphia. It starts off with some high-society breakcore, goes into a punk-rock noise track, followed by an electro/IDM song, digresses into experimental spoken word weirdness, and ends with a meditative piece of electronic music.  Produced by Adam Harms, and updated sporadically.

Total Running Time - 20 mins

Download Here (Right Click Save As)

Play Order:
Click the artist's names for more music/info

1. Nero's Day at Disne(Y)land - Civilizing People

2. Mincemeat Or Tenspeed - Infinite Girlfriend

3. City of the Asleep - Electrodarks

4. John Staedler - In the Stomach and You Will Like It

5. Max Foreman - Ride Tide

Click Here for more episodes.

Copy the feed link and paste it into your aggregator:
Copy the feed link and paste it into your aggregator

Subscribe to this podcast with iTunes
Subscribe to this podcast with iTunes

Brought to you by Official Incorporated Radio

Wednesday, October 14, 2009

Livin' in the Bulb ep. 1

Part one of a four part post-apocalyptic mini-series, shot and set in the Bay Area. A cataclysmic change happens, a rift in reality, and survival becomes the focus of our humanity's existence. Long, long after the rift, our heroes struggle to navigate a mysterious and dangerous world. The series is a mix of comedy and drama. You may remember "the bulb" from the 2007 pilot episode, which gives some back story of our heroes' meeting but otherwise doesn't match up significantly.

This is also the debut of the the Official Inc. Youtube channel, more to come there.

Monday, October 12, 2009

Roy Gover: Our Message in a Bottle

Part I: Analog Discovery

Roy Henry Alexander Gover was born in London in 1929. In 1959 he moved to the San Francisco Bay Area to pursue a career in art. In 2003 he passed away at age seventy-four.

To many, Roy was a dear friend and colleague. To the rest of us, he is an echo; reverb-laced words traveling to us from the past like radiation from a distant star long since burned-out. Roy has left this world, but his legacy survives in a plethora of homemade albums recorded on audio cassette during the 1980's, chronicling his personal experiences in song and spoken word. These tapes are modern archeological relics recovered from a bygone period in the Bay Area's amateur art and music scene when digital distribution and reproduction did not exist. Surviving copies of his work are therefore extremely precious, as Roy only produced them for his own circle of friends and acquaintances. It is only through imperfect analog copies and re-gifting that Roy’s work has traveled outside its intended audience – a mimetic labor of love that has long since been obviated and automated in the age of the Internet where original content can be reproduced and transmitted infinitely with little for the original object.

I therefore consider it an honor to have acquired some of these tapes from my dad, who in turn acquired them from one of Roy’s old co-workers. It feels like a privilege, being privy to the intimate thoughts and musings confided in Roy’s albums. In many ways, it’s like the classic trope of finding a message in a bottle washed up on the shore: there's a common spiritual experience in discovering the trace of another soul in the void, a strong feeling of solidarity with this fellow human being the delineated within a text happened upon by sheer circumstance.

A typical Roy Gover album goes like this: Roy comes home, sets the radio to some easy listening orchestra music, has more than a few drinks of "scotchy-wotchy," and then starts sing-talking into the microphone about whatever's on his mind. It's a sort of musical diary/therapy session. He often talks to himself in multiple voices, creating the illusion of two characters named Tommy and Danny (his fictional recording engineer and band leader, respectively). If Roy doesn't like the music playing on the radio, or if there's a technical difficulty, he will often blame Tommy and stage a verbal argument with his alter ego

Many of Roy’s songs revolve around his troubles in life. He alludes to suffering from alcoholism and depression. He laments that people no longer smile at you when you pass them on the street, which is why he chooses to stay home (apparently he was living in a basement in Novato a the time when most of these albums were recorded). His alienation seems to have been compounded by failed attempts to socialize outside of the office with his co-workers from Bonsfield Associates, whom Roy characterizes as a bunch of lame squares who don't understand his genius (this is the subject of the first two tracks from his session on February 14th, 1987). Another common theme in Roy’s work is food and cooking: on certain tracks he sings about going to a place in Novato called "Red Cart Market" and preparing delicious meals such as a "nice rack of lamb on Saturday night." Roy has been known to divulge some of his favorite recipes during songs.

Part II: Digital Rediscovery

One day I decided to put Roy’s name into the Google search bar. Certain that he represented the pinnacle of obscure vintage local music, I was almost positive that I wouldn’t find anything.

Roy Henry Alexander Gover also know as Roy Gover's official album- RHAG Life Goes OnMuch to my surprise, I found a great deal on Roy and his exploits. It turns out that Mr. Gover had made an album called "Life Goes On," which he produced in a real recording studio under a real record label. The album was printed on CD and is currently available for purchase on Ebay and Having known Roy solely through his tapes, learning of "Life Goes On" came to me as somewhat of a shock. The thing about the message in a bottle is that its recipient feels privileged in finding it: he fancies himself the sole heir of the knowledge contained within, the only person on earth aware of this other being who has entrusted him with his proof of existence, who has chosen him from across the abyss, like a spirit medium. Imagine then this person's shock at discovering that the message in a bottle was written by a published author! To finally see the face of the voice that he has confidentially known for years, and on the internet for everyone else to see, no less! And to discover that other tape-holders have written blogs about their own experiences with the man, as well as recorded and posted mp3s of his work… it turns one's world upside-down!

Much of the fun in listening to Roy’s work has been in the exclusivity of it. Analog media will always have a special value in its intimacy: cassettes and LPs wear and age like wine; copies become blurrier with each degree of removal from the original. Yet there is no value in a broken tape: it is only proper that after his death, Roy’s legacy should be immortalized in mp3 format and shared with this brave new wider world of the web. I have therefore been working with the wonderful people here at Official Incorporated to bring you two of Roy’s albums for download. I hope you enjoy them as much as I have.

"I have immensely enjoyed the 17 years of singing to other people's music. I never intended this to go out to the public, but if some people enjoy these songs, then who am I to complain? ... For me it's all been one long marvelous fantasy..." -- Roy Henry Alexander Gover

Sample Tracks:
Red Cart Market -

Download (Right click- save as)

Happy Birthday Christopher-

Download (Right click- save as)

I'll Be Raising My Sails Again

Download (Right click- save as)

Full Download of Exclusive Tapes:
1983 Roy Tape-

Side A
Side B

1985 Roy Tape-
Side A
Side B

Note: If you or someone you know has some of Roy's recordings, we encourage sharing them online with the rest of his fans. Official Inc will happily host the files and give you credit for your contribution.

Thursday, October 8, 2009

SXL Mixes - Fresh Tunes

Sonic Experimental Labs released 3 new mixes for your aural pleasure, featuring music by many different artists including Swanifant, Lil' Ben, and JaMile Jackson. Click the pic below to download these great mixes.

Direct Link to Mixes for archival purposes:
SXL Sound Exhibition Sample Vol. 0004
SXL Sound Exhibition Sample Vol. 0005
SXL Sound Exhibition Sample Vol. 0006

Friday, October 2, 2009

Altered Beats - A Noise Making Monster

I circuit bended an old Alesis HR 16 drum machine to make an entirely new instrument, "Altered Beats", named after the Sega game "Altered Beast." As you can see I did more than just change the inside, I transformed the exterior as well.

 Patch Bay (on the right) and the Patch Bay Combiner (on the left)
This is where all the magic happens and changes it into "Altered Beats"

Here is a demo video of "Altered Beats" so you can get an idea of how it works and what it can do. This is just a small sampling of the different songs it can make-

This instrument will be used in my new band, with Ben Sinclair and Jesse Elias "What Have the Unborn Done for Us?" Look out for us!

Circuit Bending is something that anyone can do! Click here to learn more about circuit bending and how to do it.

Thursday, October 1, 2009

Foot Village "Chicken and Cheese" Cover at Free Music Archive

Foot Village made an open call for musicians/friends to cover "Chicken and Cheese" to include on the CD, tape, and vinyl versions of their new album "Anti-Magic". My new band with Ben Sinclair of Lil Ben and Jesse Elias  participated in this by recording our first Single, a cover of “Chicken and Cheese”. Our new band is called “What Have the Unborn Done for Us?” Our song will be a part of a collage on the tape version. But you can listen now! All of these covers are available for free at the Free Music Archive. Our song is at the bottom near Lucky Dragons.

So give our first single a listen! Click here 

Also listen to "Anti-Magic" for free on

Tuesday, September 29, 2009

Cardboard Transmissions ep 5

cardboard transmissions a local music bay area podcast by adam harms
Episode 5 of Cardboard Transmissions features five artists from around the San Francisco Bay Area and one from Berlin. The first half of this episode is more rockin'/band based and the second half is more electronic/beat based, but each song is a different genre. Produced by Adam Harms, and updated sporadically.

Total Running Time - 22.5 mins

Download Here (right click save as)

Play Order:
Click the artist's names for more music/info

1. Lil Ben - Proffesor X

2. The Moral Tourists - Calling in Dead

3. New Thrill Parade - Tie Dyed Bat Cave

4. notURbrokentoy - Coming for the Game

5. 4cantons -Veïna

6. J0N G- Esidadrap Satsgnag

(Intro music by Zenrootin)

Click Here for more episodes.

Copy the feed link and paste it into your aggregator:

Copy the feed link and paste it into your aggregator
Subscribe to this podcast with iTunes

Subscribe to this podcast with iTunes
Brought to you by Official Incorporated Radio

Friday, September 25, 2009

Interview with Dylan about Ranomafana Rhythms

Madagascar Malagasy folk music compilation by Dylan Chapple
You may remember the joyous sounds of the Children of Bevohazo that I featured in episode 2 of Cardboard Transmissions. The track was taken from Ranomafana Rhythms Vol 1, a compilation CD produced by my good friend Dylan Chapple, lead singer of the noise-folk band Swanifant. Rhythms is a musical documentation of Dylan's journey throughout Madagascar: the album captures and compiles the various regional flavors of Malagasy music with unspoiled authenticity, with tracks compiled from three different local musical groups. I sat down with Dylan to talk about his experience creating Ranomafana Rhythms, the personal and cultural significance of the project, and Malagasy music in general-

Adam: How did you come to start this project? Why did you decide to make this compilation?
Dylan: I first visited Madagascar as a student in the Institute for the Conservation of Tropical Environments/ SUNY Stony Brook Study Abroad Program in 2005. The program takes place at Centre Val Bio, a research station close to both the town of Ranomafana and Ranomafana National Park. The park is home to a wealth of plants and animals not found outside of the country. Before the trip, I spent a lot of time listening to nature recordings that my friend Ryan Huber made during his time is Costa Rica, and I knew that I wanted to capture some of Madagascar's unique sounds. The idea of recording music there didn't occur to me until I got there and started seeing people with instruments walking along the roads. I asked around at the research station and people referred me to Dadalira, who at the time was said to be 100 years old. Watching him perform as I recorded was a powerful moment, and after hearing his music I knew I wanted to figure out some way for his music to reach people outside of his community and for him to benefit from this sharing.
My aunt, Dr. Patricia Wright, has been working in Madagascar since the 1980's, and was a major force behind the establishment of Ranomafana National Park. The park was established with a good deal of community involvement, and this model was a major inspiration for the compilation. After my trip, I discovered that much of the field recorded traditional music that I loved mostly cut the performers out of the revenue stream, which seemed unfair. I realized that having long standing family connections in the area made it possible to set up a system with people I trusted that would make sure the individuals and communities featured on the compilation could receive the money that was due to them. The staff of Centre Val Bio is in charge of sales to the tourist economy in Ranomafana and I'm in charge of the stateside sales. All profits past basic operation costs (which has only consisted of a few major CD mailings) is divided for each CD into 3 dollars for each band and one dollar for Centre Val Bio.

Adam: What equipment did you use to produce this project? Who else was involved?

Dylan: During my first trip in 2005 when I recorded Dadalira, I used an iRiver HP 120, which is an early iPod type device that happens to have decent preamps and an external mic input. During my second trip in 2007 when I recorded the Ambatolahy-Dimy band and the children of Bevohazo, I used a Zoom H4 hand-held recorder.

The mixing and mastering for the project was done for free by Aaron Emmert at Silent Planet Studios in Corralitos, California, and the package design and CD printing communication was done by Ryan Huber. Without the work of these guys and Christopher Chapple and Patricia Wright who helped raise the start-up costs, this project never would have gotten off the ground. I have been lucky to get a lot of help with the technical aspects of the music making process over the years, and a big motivation for this project has been paying this help forward. 

The Malagasy folk music group Ambatolahy-Dimy
 The Ambatolahy-Dimy Band, also pictured at the top left

Adam: The description at the Rhythms store mentions the cabousy. (Pictured in the top left corner of the article.) How is a cabousy different than a guitar? Is it a common instrument in Madagascar folk music? What other instruments or ways of making sound are used?
Dylan: Most of the cabousys that I saw were somewhere between the size of a mandolin and a guitar. They are tuned in a major triad, and their fretboards are not uniform like a guitars. They are strategically placed to allow the chords found in a major scale to be played by simply placing one straight finger across the neck. To my ear, this allows for more rhythmic playing than a guitar. The cabousy is used by the Ambatolahy-Dimy band at the beginning of the compilation.

The children of Bevohazo employ voices, shakers, and bamboo shoots pounded on the ground to create drum-like tones. Their leader blows a whistle to direct the band. Dadalira plays an instrument that i have heard referred to as a valiha or marovany, depending on who I asked. His is a homemade instrument that is essentially a rectangular box with nine or ten strings on each side that produce banjo-like tones when plucked.  

100 year old Malagasy folk musician Dadalira with his marovany
Dadalira with his homemade marovany

Adam: How is music a part of life in Madagascar? What role does it play? How is it different than music in the United States?
Dylan: Many of the Malagasy i talked to about it joke that they haven't met one American who can sing. In my experience, singing and music were a much more integral part of parties and gatherings in Madagascar than they are here. After the performances in Bevohazo found on the compilation, the group of American students I was with stayed up singing with some of the villagers and a team of guides from Centre Val Bio. Songs were pieced together through the memory of almost everyone involved; where someone forgot a verse, it seemed that there was always someone ready to jump in and lead the laughing group through it.

After about a half hour of Malagasy songs, they asked us to sing something, just one song. All we could muster as a group was a terrible version of Sitting on the Dock of the Bay, after which we quickly resumed the Malagasy songs. I think that our culture emphasizes the new and valorizes individuality to an extent that makes it hard for us to tap into a common source of music. The iPod seems to be a good metaphor for this; your own private musical history contained in the palm of your hand. Music in Madagascar seems to revolve much more around shared experience and a connection to those around you, and I think that our culture has a lot to learn from this.

The children of bevohazo
The Children of Bevohazo

Learn more about and purchase Ranomafana Rhythms Volume 1: Traditional Music from Eastern Madagascar at the Ranomafana Store(Scroll to the bottom of the page to buy.)

Thursday, September 10, 2009

Spin-off Blog

Jesse Elias has a spin off blog
As you know, I am a frequent contributor to this blog; not long ago I decided that it would be in everyone's best interest to save the more irrelevant topics and inconsequential blather for my own personal blog. Adam wants me to promote it here:

Tuesday, September 8, 2009

Mincemeat or Tenspeed plays in a Cave

An awesome video of my brother playing in a cave by the ruins of the SF Sutro Baths. I was at this show and it was really cool to see noise artists play in a cave by the ocean as the sun set. There also was the added bonus of confused tourists walking through the cave.

Wednesday, August 26, 2009

Cardboard Transmissions ep 4

cardboard transmissions is a bay area independent music podcast with lots of different genres hosted by Adam HarmsEpisode 4 of Cardboard Transmissions features six artists from around the San Francisco Bay Area. The genre of each song is different. The first half of this episode is more frantic and the second half is relaxed. Produced by Adam Harms and updated sporadically.
Total Running Time - 21.4 mins

Download Here (right click save as)

Play Order:
Click the artist's names for more music/info

1. Battle Hooch - Special Place

2. Zenrootin - iPod Song (City of the Asleep remix)

3. Nero's Day at Disne(y)land - Stretched Linen Over Contorted Bodies

4. Spencer Owen - Biker with a Death Wish

5. Adam and Jesse: MIDI - The Cereal Song

6. Eric Crawford - Organ Jam

Click Here for previous episodes.

Copy the feed link and paste it into your aggregator:

Copy the feed link and paste it into your aggregator

Subscribe to this podcast with iTunes

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Brought to you by Official Incorporated Radio

Tuesday, August 25, 2009

Something for Everyone

Jesse Elias (that's me) performing at the swanky Bliss Bar in beautiful San Francisco. Watch me curse, stammer, and drunkenly stumble through my delivery while staring way too long at the notes on my rubber gloves (I'm sick of writing on my hand, can you dig it?) Camerawork and 90% of audience laughter is credit to Adam Harms.

Tuesday, July 28, 2009

Friday, June 19, 2009

New Blog

Hey Offinc-ers,

Just wanted to pass along my new blog about doing one good deed a day. That is all!


Tuesday, June 9, 2009

Cardboard Transmissions ep 3

cardboard transmissions is a bay area independent music podcast with lots of different genres hosted by Adam HarmsEnjoy episode 3 of the music podcast featuring inventive independent artists from around the San Francisco Bay Area and beyond. The genre of the music featured varies from song to song, so there is something for everyone! Produced by Adam Harms and updated sporadically.
Total Running Time - 24.5 mins

Download Here (right click save as)

Play Order:
Click the artist's names for more music/info


2. Brass Knobs - Crucify All the Trolls (I'm Burning Bridges on this Island)

3. Hate Truck - Freedom (A Life Without Regrets)

4. Foot Village - T.A.K.E.

5. JaMile Jackson - Grrerruff

6. Mystery Schools - Subtraction is Division

Click Here for more episodes.

Copy the feed link and paste it into your aggregator:

Copy the feed link and paste it into your aggregator

Subscribe to this podcast with iTunes

Subscribe to this podcast with iTunes

Brought to you by Official Incorporated Radio

Tuesday, June 2, 2009

First Annual Official Inc Caption Contest

A caption contest, a caption contest!

Submit comment to this post suggesting a caption to any of the following pictures. The best entry will receive a mystery prize pack. Lack of participation and/or quality entries will result in the contest being killed off and discontinued forever.

3. 4.

Friday, May 29, 2009

did someone say community television??

my other band nate's action playset (all-midi btw!) just recorded a hilariously low-budget special for a show called 'spilly chili's bowl of rocks,' which is currently playing on santa cruz community tv channel 27.

The Golden Age of Games

I remember going to LaVal's Pizza on Telegraph and Durant to play the arcade games there. It was in a dark nook filled with intimidating and cool adults who drank beer, smoked cigarettes, played pool, and listened to loud abrasive music on the jukebox. I played Street Fighter II with a burnt-out rock-for-life type who looked like the human version of Evil Ernie. Arcade games, particularly the ubiquitous Street Fighter II, were a conduit intersecting all walks of life. No other venue could have produced an opportunity for a little kid like me to hang out with such a bad dude. Long before there was the “gamer community” (patent pending) with its webcomics and LAN parties, there were games that brought the community together.

Saturday, May 23, 2009

Download Official Incorporated tracks on And an Awesome New Logo!

All of our musical releases are on! Now you can freely listen to albums from bands such as Zenrootin, Horse Sheets, and MIDI. All of our music is free to download and enjoy anytime you want. And don't worry... It's RIAA Safe ;)

Visit our Page

And as you can see we have an amazing new logo by Jesse Elias!

Saturday, May 2, 2009

Lessons from Charley and Humphrey: Solipsistic Nostalgia of a Local Boy from Richmond Raised on Televison in the Late 80's

Part 1: Searching for Charley and Humphrey

For years now, the practice of going around on websites like Retrojunk to ask for help in identifying some vague pop-culture phantom from one’s childhood has been a common diversion on the internet. The person with the fuzzy memory will post something like, “what was that one show where they had the girl who could stop time by touching her fingers together? It’s drivin’ me crazy!” And then someone will invariably chime in: “Out of This World!” It's a genuinely effective system: with all the zillions of people on some of these forums, the law of averages dictates that at least one of them is going to know what you’re talking about.

But until today there was one memory of mine that no one on the internet could identify.

Here’s how I described it:

"A short spot featuring puppets, namely a white horse with a big red mouth and a fire helmet housed in a brick building (possibly a fire station?) I remember him teaching me that borrowing without asking is the same as stealing."

To improve my chances of stirring someone’s recollections, I made a sort of police sketch to go with this description; working the best I could off a fuzzy, almost twenty-year-old memory, I rendered this visual aid in MS Paint:

Yet all was vanity, to paraphrase Solomon; even with the help of my picture, no one in all the internet found any of this even vaguely familiar. And so, after many, many attempts in this vein, I gave up and became resigned to the prospect of never knowing where this mysterious memory had come from. I even went so far as to consider the possibility that it had never existed beyond my own mind: perhaps I remembered it from a dream; perhaps my memory had confused impressions from several different puppet shows and thus shaped something entirely original from their residue.

Today, however, my memory was redeemed with startling precision.

Like most good things, it happened by total accident. I was on Youtube digging up some 80’s independent Bay Area TV station nostalgia (KBHK 44 bumpers, things like that) when in the related videos column I saw something that took my breath away:

That's it! The reason why nobody on the internet could help me remember Charley and Humphrey was because they were from a local, independent broadcast!

Still, I wonder how my memory substituted a firefighter helmet for a naval cap. Anyway...

Part 2: A History of Charley, Humphrey, and Independent Television Stations in the Bay Area:

(Hey: If you watch only one of the videos in this article, watch this one.)

As the video above clearly demonstrates, Charley and Humphrey were a product of KTVU Channel 2, the first independent television station in the San Francisco Bay Area (as we are informed by Ronnie Shell, "a local boy from Richmond"). The song at the beginning of the clip, though written over twenty years ago, resonates more than ever with today’s wistful melancholy in wake local programming's decimation: "I know yesterday is gone forever/ but my favorite dreams are still in black and white." Gone forever indeed. Gone are the days of local B-horror M.C's like Elvira, Vampira, and Dr. Gangrene, who would lovingly present the night’s schlocky horror film and answer fan mail sent from kids around the area. Gone are the local game shows you actually had a chance of appearing on. Gone are Charley, Humphrey, and the other puppets. The only thing local stations do anymore is the news, presumably because they’re evil and they know that the only thing more depressing than no local broadcasting at all is local broadcasting that pops up only to tell you that there's a serial rapist in the neighborhood.

Sigh. I don't about you, but I could really go for a time machine right about now. I want the happy back. I want to escape into my naive, unjaded fantasy world of bright city lights, cloying saxophone solos, sparkly electric piano samples, and cheap puppets. I want to go back to a world where there weren't so many haters, where men could wear rainbow suspenders and not have their sexuality questioned. I want to go back to a world where guys could look like this and still be able to "score big on Love Connection" (i.e. women would still have sex with them). And I want to go back to where I can find a pair of glasses like Perry's, goddamn it!

But I digress.

Above: "Where is the familiar and friendly announcer’s voice to say goodnight to us now?"

As silly as it sounds, watching all this local broadcast stuff as a wee preschooler had a profound effect on my malleable little brain. How to describe it… it’s like it made me feel more connected to the place where I lived… like it made the TV seem less cold and distant and more like an integral part of the community. Okay, so that is silly, but compare that to the way we have it now: where is the familiar and friendly announcer’s voice to say goodnight to us when it’s time to go to bed and the station signs off? Where’s the part where that voice invites us to submit our questions and comments? Or the part where he gives us the address of the station so we could even go down there if we ever wanted to? And why don’t these stations still sponsor and put on events we can actually attend? As an impressionable child, all these little touches went a long way towards making me feel somehow involved. I'd see the stock footage shots of San Francisco, watch "Big Bird in Japan" on KQED, and then have my aunt (who always sent me stuff from Japan when she was living there) come and visit and take me to Japantown to get sushi and play a coin-operated Centipede machine. I was there, I was living the dream! It was like one big nebula of reality and fantasy all congealed in a delicious consommé of recycled stock muzak with one foot still in the 70's.

What I have shared here represents a great deal of what I consider to be the most deep-seeded and sacred of my personal aesthetics. What will become of them another twenty years from now, I wonder? Will they vanish further into obscurity, or will we dust them off and build something new from them? Will our culture descend into further alienation and cynicism, or will we rebuild our innocence and once more allow ourselves these tacky little gestures of community? I guess it’s important to remember that it's all relative, that one person's nostalgia is always created by someone nostalgic for something else.

Well, that's it for tonight's broadcast. Have a good night an a great weekend. And now, one last relic of Bay Area television to rock out to (in stereo):

Friday, May 1, 2009

Cardboard Transmissions Ep 2

Episode 2 of the music based podcast featuring inventive artists around the San Francisco Bay Area and beyond. The genre of the music featured varies from song to song, so there is something for everyone! Hosted by Adam Harms and updated sporadically.
Total Running Time - 23.5 mins

Download Here (right click save as)

Play Order:

1. Tenebre - Platinum Standard - (Tenebre Myspace)

2. RAGS - Cauldron Spasm - (RAGS Myspace)

3. Shannon and the Clams - Heart Break - (The Clams Myspace , The Clams' Radio Show)

4. The Children of Bevohazo from Ranomafana Rhythms Vol. 1 - (Ranomafana Store)

5. Swan Elephant - tumbleweed - ( Swan Elephant Myspace)

6. Horse Sheets - kfdr (notURbrokentoy remix) - (Horse Sheets - kfdr page)

7. Future Dog - Glide - (Future Dog Myspace)

8. Lil Ben - Streaming - (Lil Ben Myspace) (Lil Ben Facebook)

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Thursday, April 30, 2009

Protect Yourself

New Photos by Adam Harms

If You Touch Poop: An Excerpt from "The Book of Germs"

If you touch poop you are in trouble.

Poop if full of bacteria, red blood cells, viruses, and facultative anaerobic organisms.

Fig. A: Touching poop is so dangerous that you need a hazmat suit to do it safely.

In the event that you touch poop, it is important that you remain calm and take immediate action to purge your hand of its fatal contaminants.

First off, you will need to wipe away as much poop residue as possible. Using your uncontaminated hand (assuming that you have one) grasp a wad of toilet paper from the nearest bathroom. Assuming that the bathroom is stewarded by a responsible adult who keeps it properly stocked, there should be some wound around a cardboard spool on a collapsible spindle installed next to your toilet. With your uncontaminated hand, unwind an ample length of the toilet paper and separate it from the remaining plane of paper with a sharp tug. It is important that you tug sharply and swiftly at the paper so that linear acceleration overcomes angular inertia, otherwise the toilet paper will fail to tear and simply unwind further.

When you have obtained an ample handful of toilet paper, use it to wipe off as much as you can of the poop residue on your contaminated hand. To prevent your uncontaminated hand from becoming an also contaminated hand, take care to maintain a centimeter-or-more-thick barrier of clean toilet paper between the soiled hand and the one cleaning it. If the barrier between your clean and dirty hand is any less than that, the poop particles will be able to wriggle between the paper fibers and contaminate your uncontaminated hand. However, no protection is absolute: there are billions of particles contained in single speck of poop, so even if you follow all these precautions with perfect precision the law of averages dictates that some of these particles are bound to slip through the layers of toilet paper and leave your uncontaminated hand contaminated to a microscopic extent.

Ignoramus sez: “Microscopic? So what?”

So what? I’ll tell you what so, Ignoramus! The Ebola virus is so small you need a microscope to see it, and there’s nothing "so what" about contracting Ebola!

Fig B: Typhoid Mary killed hundreds of people by touching poop.

Now, as I was saying, when you are finished, flush the soiled toilet paper down the toilet. Now that both your hands are contaminated to varying degrees, you should depress the toilet flushing lever with your toe.

The next step is to wash the remaining film of poop off your hand, as well as the stray poop particles from your microscopically contaminated hand.

To wash your hands, you will need soap and water. Water can be accessed from the sink. However, to release water from the sink you will have to turn the handles, which are called handles because they are hand-operated. But your hands are contaminated. You could turn the handles with your mouth, but that would be a fatal mistake.

Question: What’s the most common thing people touch with unwashed hands after pooping?

Answer: The bathroom sink! (other acceptable answers include the toilet seat, the soap and/or soap dispenser, and the toilet-flushing lever.)

Are you starting to get an idea of how deep this conspiracy goes? The one place we rely on to rid ourselves of germs is actually the most germy! The lever you pushed down with your toe? It has contaminated your toe, and your toe will contaminate everywhere you walk until it’s sterilized. How fucked up is that?

Anyway, my point is this: if the bathroom sink handles are already contaminated, you have nothing to lose by handling them with contaminated hands. Ergo, the most logical course of action at this point is to use your microscopically tainted hand to turn on the water and access the soap.

By now you should realize that you are contaminating the hell out of the soap and the basin of the sink. Yet these things, like the rest of your bathroom, are probably already crawling with poop germs. And if you like virtually everyone else use your bathroom and then proceed to move about the rest of your home, you have trafficked these poop germs everywhere from your dining room table to your pillowcase.

I know, I know… it’s awful. But it’s the truth, and as bad as it sounds, becoming aware of this bleak reality is the first step toward remedying it.

But back to more pressing matters: you still have a film of poop on your hand that needs purging. Using soap and water, lather and rinse your hands no less than ten times. Doing this will remove a great deal of the contamination. However, by rubbing your hands together, the remaining germs will now be equally divided between both hands.

The soap has now been tainted; throw it in the garbage for later disposal. Make sure it doesn’t touch the top two inches of the trash bag lining the trash bin; eventually you will need to touch this part of the bag when disposing of it and its contents, and it would be tragic if you were to recontaminate your hands in doing so.

Now then, If have done everything I’ve said, you will have killed about 99% of the germs on your hands.

Ignoramus sez: “Alright, looks like I’m golden!”

Wrong again, Ignoramus! Remember that there are billions of germ particles in a single speck of poop. Also remember that all it takes is two germs to have germ babies and populate your body with their disease. What is one percent of a billion? A fucklot more than two.

So now both your hands are 1% contaminated. What now? What now is that you must soak your hands in ethanol, a volatile substance that kills germs a lot better than soap.

Remember the germ played by Lawrence Fishbourne in that one movie?

You guessed it: killed by ethanol.

To sterilize your hands with this magical chemical, empty six bottles of it into two buckets (three bottles each). If you don’t own six bottles of ethanol and/or two buckets, go to the store and buy thirteen bottles of ethanol (and buckets if you need them). You will need the extra seven bottles because by going to the store to buy ethanol you will have contaminated your car, your keys, your doorknob, your wallet, your pocket, and the store.

Now then, back to the task at hand (pun!): once you have successfully filled two buckets with six bottles of ethanol, dispose of the contaminated empty bottles following the same procedure from when you disposed of the tainted soap (remember: two inches f garbage bag untouched). Next, plunge your hands into one of the two buckets and soak them for fifteen minutes. When you are finished, dump the contaminated bucket and its contents somewhere where you won’t have to deal with it, possibly in a neighbor’s trashcan. Then soak your hands in a clean change of ethanol (the second bucket) for an additional fifteen minutes. Dispose of the second bucket and its contents accordingly. If you contaminated your car and other things by going to the store, use the additional seven bottles of ethanol you bought at the store to sterilize them. Then go to a different, uncontaminated store to buy five hundred more bottles of ethanol for sterilizing your bathroom and the rest of your house (dining room table and pillowcase, remember?) Don’t forget to sterilize all your clothes, furniture, food, appliances, and the terrain leading from your driveway to your front door.

That's it! You are now germ free! Remember to keep several bottles of ethanol on hand for sterilizing your bathroom every time you poop, lest the vicious cycle should reoccur!

Monday, April 27, 2009

Intimacy Quiet Circus

An experimental film by James De La Loza from Official Incorporated's L.A. branch. Meditate on this!

Wednesday, April 22, 2009

Open Call for Submissions: The Official Inc. Zine

Hello everyone! Official Incorporated is working on it's first zine. We are opening up the submission process for anyone who would like to participate.

The zine is a printed publication, that accepts comics, writing, drawings etc. Pretty much anything you can print. The first issue will be formatted with 4.25 X 11 sized pages. (Brochure Style) So keep that in mind when submitting drawings or comics. It will be in black and white. We are also accepting advertisements, contact us for (competitive!) rates.

The deadline for submissions is May 20th, 2009.

Send any submissions/inquiries to

Friday, April 10, 2009

Cardboard Transmissions Episode 1

A music based podcast featuring inventive artists around the San Francisco Bay Area and beyond. The genre of the music featured varies from song to song. Hosted by Adam Harms and updated sporadically.

The first episode of Cardboard Transmissions is full of awesome new music from independent artists around the Bay Area, and one from Philly! No one of the songs in this episode really fit into the same genre. The first half is electronic based, ranging from chip tunes to noise and hip-hop. The second half is less electronic and more spiritual.
Total Running Time - 19.5 mins

Download Here (right click save as)

Featured Artists:
1. City of the Asleep - No Mean5 Go

2Jesse Elias - Theme Song for an 8bit TV Show

3. Mincemeat or Tenspeed - Guns 'N Rosa

4. Pop Demon - Retail Water Trap

5. John Staedler - Filling with Light

6. Swanifant - Steps

7. Brass Knobs - Triassic Period

Click Here for more Episodes

Copy the feed link and paste it into your aggregator:

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Subscribe to this podcast with iTunes

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Brought to you by Official Incorporated Radio

Thursday, April 9, 2009

A General Dislike of Poetry

I'll be the first to admit that poetry is one of my least favorite forms of artistry, either to make or be subjected to. This being said, here are a few poems I have written.

Poetry Courtesy of Webster
By Dusty Heaton

Please, come sophisticate me
with your sophomoric reverie.
Take time to unwind your cluttered
mind, in front of me preferably.
My infantile craving certainly
can't be quenched yet.
The paucity of clarity
is clearly my excuse.

I want to pray to a golden god,
Just so I could have a heart to heart with Jesus.
My infidelity surely won't be forgiven this time.
Me, with my spindling, spineless frame.
I've reached my terminus,
just let me theorize with the time I have.

Survival is my courtesan to court.
I want to galvanize my body,
send my neurons on vacation.
I suppose I'm willing to accept
what I've become, in fact I can't
wait to see what else the angels
have in store for me.
Oh, by the way, tell Jesus
he's not in the dictionary.


Hey Mister
Can I come in
I've been waiting so long

Zephyr blows me
In a new direction
Wander my way through time

Stigmatize my very being
Make me a black king
Hey Mr. Calamity
Make me part of your dream

Spiders whisper
In my ear
Telling me secrets about the ocean

And whales sing
To their forgotten children

A union of significance
A brotherhood of sheep
A harbinger of my destruction
I hope this doesn't leak

Friday, April 3, 2009

funk incorporated

Live concert footage from Brett's 24th Birthday in Santa Cruz.

Monday, March 23, 2009

Wednesday, March 18, 2009

Have you heard City of the Asleep?

If you haven't heard Igliashon Jones' solo project, 'City of the Asleep' you are missing out! Jones, of Zenrootin fame, has recently released his new album "Map of an Internal Landscape" for free online distribution. City of the Asleep is a pleasantly eclectic sonic experience, ranging stylistically from electronic and industrial to rock and roll. You can also download his other four albums at the link below. My personal favorite is “The 5ound of De5olation,” an extensively thought out album which is reminiscent of the best of NIN. If you haven't heard this yet, Click the link below!