Wednesday, August 27, 2008
looking thru the filter.....
looking out over a landscape of rooftops can be a bit unnerving. if you're surrounded by the younglings on a somewhat regular basis, or happen to be in touch with your outer child, you may hear whisperings of chim chim cheroo or the like. when was the last time you tiptoed across a geometric up and over? were you down and out? buh-duhm ching.....
all inuendos aside, i had this wonderful view a few months ago thru a skylight across the ajoining rooftop, thru the trees, fluffy clouds and all, and it stopped me for a moment. just a wee one, mind you. i was, after all, on the proverbial clock. the skylight in reference has been gifted with a remote control that opens and closes to the owner's delight (i know....i don't want to hear it. i just work here). so, of course, you would need a window screen to keep the outside out and the inside in.
and it is this screen that i peered thru as i longingly rested my tender visage upon those clouds and cursed the bandana covering my mouth, protecting my lungs from insulation particles and sawdust alike.
gazing thru the mesh grid that filtered my view of the sky and trees below, i began to ponder my place in the world. (at this point, if you are becoming bored, go ahead and go back to whatever you were doing before you came here. but remember, i didn't give up.....you did). as i was saying, i began to ponder my place in the world. not in some sappy esoteric "hey, are you there god, it's me _________," but more in a "fuck, why am i in some yuppies' attic looking at the sky behind glass thru a mesh screen?" sort of way.
and then i went back to work.
that's right. i didn't climb down the ladder and walk off into the woods. i didn't close my eyes and float off into the heavens to converse with ghandi and einstein and kermit the frog. i picked up my hammer and commenced with constructing the matrix (i don't care what you might say to your friends, it's a great analogy). i had gazed thru yet another filter at the great and mighty wonder that is the living world around me, and for all practical purposes, i was unaffected.
now, at this point you may be judging me a little. no, it's okay. admit it to yourself. i'm quite sure there are any number of thoughts tugging at your psyche right now. i don't know what they are, you tell me. it doesn't matter to this guy. you see, your filters are creating them.
that's right.....your filters. created and assembled by everything you've ever seen or done. and that's what this is really all about......at least for me it is. you are born and brought to conception with nothing but.........................................................................................................................................
if even that (i don't remember). beginning in the womb itself, your filters are being assembled.
by the noises filtered thru a sac of amniotic fluid. by that first moment where you are no longer breathing viscous liquid, but oxygen. stale hospital air vs. redwood forest is just one of the first filters. by the time you can talk, you are no longer recognizable as a pure piece of awareness, but are an assemblage of gender, race, religion, and whatever other filters you have picked up/had placed on you up to that point. and it continues on and on until that little piece of awareness blinks out, or goes back out into the everything, or whatever the hell it is that happens when our human body ceases to function properly, and gives up the ghost.
now there's not supposed to be a whole lot of judgement here on my part. i'm just making an observation. and so what, right? i'm sure you've thought about this twice today already, and there's no point to it anyway, and aren't you fuckin' hip and all that.
and, well, yeah.....i am. hip as all hell. but don't take my word for it. go find your rose colored glasses, and sit on top of a skyscraper and stare at the people below you.........until you're bored enough to turn your gaze upwards and gaze at the sun until you find something worth looking for.
let me know what you find. i'd do it myself but i get a headache after a couple minutes.