Thursday, August 7, 2008

Doomsday Device to be Activated for Purely Wank-related Purposes Later This Year

Hey there, folks! It's you're old friend, Harry Farber! Boy, have I got a scoop for you! As it turns out, the world could very well end in a month! That's right, I'm talking about a real bona-fide doomsday! I wish I was just making a dumb joke, but no, it's actually true. Just click on the image below and all will be explained.

Fig. A: click the techno-sphincter and learn the truth

Okay, so maybe the visual aid takes some liberties, but I can assure you that this thing is real. As Levar Burton always says, you don't have to take my word for it. Here's proof: Big-bang Machine Raises Doomsday Fears

From what I've read, it's obvious that these guys don't know what will happen once they start playing with dark matter and micro-black holes (otherwise they wouldn't spend five billion dollars to find out, would they?), and yet they insist on going ahead and pushing the button because they're just too damn curious. If this sounds more than a little familiar, there's a good reason: like many of the threats we face today, we were warned about this shit years ago by a very prophetic piece of science fiction...

Fig. B: we were warned about this shit

Well, it's been nice knowing all of you, but it looks like we won't get to see the end of this movie called life, and all because some asshole is more interested in taking apart the projector to see how it works rather than paying attention to what's on the screen.

-- H.A. Farber

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